Politics

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

thumb_up thumb_down

You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

thumb_up thumb_down

If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

thumb_up thumb_down

Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

thumb_up thumb_down

if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down

Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mama so fat that.....NooNoooNooooooo (strips)

thumb_up thumb_down

What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

thumb_up thumb_down

your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down

Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

thumb_up thumb_down

An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down

A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops