Knock Knock Whose there? Me! Hi

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

Im Black And I Will Beat You Children At Checkers,They Can Be Red

What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

How do u put an elephant in a refrigerator? -open it up and put it in How do u put a girraffe in a refrigerator? -open it up take out the elephant and put it in All the animals it the world are at a party in Florida. Which one didnt go? -the girraffe, it was in the frige Your trying to cross a river. A sign says alligators everywhere. U have no boat and no bridges. How do u get across? - swim the alligators are at the party in florida

how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

what did the dirty homeless girl get for Christmas -A DILDO

There's a god, just kidding.

Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

Paul walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: no

What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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