Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Lil' Wayne

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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What did the black man watch basketball instead of Tennis? Because Basketball is a very popular sport to African Americans, and tests show they can just higher than Caucasians, Asians and Hispanics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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