One time I masturbated by myself

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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nipple

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What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

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What is worse than finding an Apple in your Worm? Watching your dog jumping of a cliff

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

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How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

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In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Not all black people are skilled at basketball

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knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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we should name the next hurricane alex rodriguez so it dosent hit any thing

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what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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