How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

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how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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a horse nibbled a baby

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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