why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

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have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

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I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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Gangnam style

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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who ever is reading this....

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

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Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

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Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

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Can I ask you a question? You just did

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How did the black man cross the road after 5 years of trying to and getting hit by cars every time? some1 put KFC on the other side. MrBounty44

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops