What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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Of course, first door on your left

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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