What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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Your biggest fan.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw it after I chopped its' head off.

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Muslim athletes.

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Two blondes walk into a building......you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

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What did the boy say to his friend? "Hello!"

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bowl? A blender How do you get them out? Chips

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def lepeord

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knock, knock whos there child molestor

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two men walked into a bar the last one ducked

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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Is J.P. dumb? Yes

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whats black and white and red all over? a zebra crossing after a horrible, horrible car accident

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Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops