How are cars made? By magic.

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what did the crocodile say to the fish? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!! and then the fish swam away because of the the weird noise the crock was making...

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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Q:Way C'nt U reed tHis? A: Because im retarted -ian surprenant

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Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why do black people enjoy watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

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Why did Sally flunk math? Because she didn't achieve the passing grade which is 60 percent or greater. She might need some tutoring in order to master the concept of the lessons to which she has difficulty solving.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

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What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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A black man walks into an abbatoir.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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