Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

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Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

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Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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Come In!

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

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What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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This is not a joke.

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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