So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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What was the energizer bunny arrested for? Rape.

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What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

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How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How much Is a free app on my market?

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Who has fair skin, blonde hair and is African? Stefan.

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

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Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

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I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

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Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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I told you it would happen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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