What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Flop dog

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it got ran over by a car recently after it go killed it was eaten by a hobo and the hobo died from ring worm

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What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

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What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

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Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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Wanna here a good joke?

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what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

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Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Obama

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A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

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What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops