What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did Sally flunk math? Because she didn't achieve the passing grade which is 60 percent or greater. She might need some tutoring in order to master the concept of the lessons to which she has difficulty solving.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A black man walks into an abbatoir.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a gay dog? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops