A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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This is an anti-anti-joke.

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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(402)217-6102 that is Jesse

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Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

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Q:What did the scissors say to the paper? A: Nothing, cause thier scissors and paper they don't talk..

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

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The Holocaust.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

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Why can't Hellen Keller read, write, or do anything really? Because, shes a woman.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? he didn't what kind of farmer lets their chickens out on the streets, they get crunk you know

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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