- Anti Joke

What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

"knock knock" "Come in"

Why doesn't little billy eat his vegetables at the dinner table... Because billy has bin dead for 3 years

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

Welcome to die!

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

Q) A black man and a white man are playing a basketball game, who will win? A) The one who scores the most points.

I was Born ready I was born naked.

three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A niggarette

There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

What did the black man say to the other black man? We are both black men.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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