You ever hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither has she.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

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Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

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Knock Knock Come in.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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Where's my baby??

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A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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