- Anti Joke

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

Why shouldn't you drink and drive? Because you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

2 guys are on a scaffolding. One of them says to the other "If you fall from here, theres a high probability you will die"

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

What did the little girl say to her step father? Please stop raping me

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

How long is a china man?

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks have herbivorous diet mainly consisting of wild grasses, berries, as well as agricultural crops when they are available.

some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

Colby Michael Schluter

What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

Kim Kardashian got a job.

What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.