Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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What is a chair?

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

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elen degeneres is straight....

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

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Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

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Q:What did the scissors say to the paper? A: Nothing, cause thier scissors and paper they don't talk..

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Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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What's worse than the holocaust? anti-joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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