I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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What did the man do after he rented a movie? He watched it

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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How do you get a black man out of KFC? Tell him to get out

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the poll booth to vote on a law restricting the questioning of chickens destination and furthermore to let chickens cross with out ridicule.

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You ever hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither has she.

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what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

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Why are rich people so rich? they're not poor.

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Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

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How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops