What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

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69

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Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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How can you tell the person who stole your car was black? Stereotyping is wrong.

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new car? ....neither did he.

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what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? One is a cat, the other is a banana.

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Knock knock who's thare Your mom She's dead you bitch

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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What did the little boy get from his visit to Penn State? Raped.

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One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn What starts with B and ends with ITCH? Bewitch

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Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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How did the black man cross the road after 5 years of trying to and getting hit by cars every time? some1 put KFC on the other side. MrBounty44

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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