how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

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Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

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Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

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What is the difference between a cow and a clam one is bivalve and one is a mammal

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how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

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An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

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HI MY NAME IS DOUG

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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Why was 6 afraid of 7.... because 7 was black

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Bra*don Che*ey is tall. Facebook me please... Im desperate

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Loner.

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♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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Hey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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