Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

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what did the kid with poleo get for christmas. whatever he has on his christmas list because his parents feel bad for passing down the genetic information(DNA) that gave him poleo.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

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why did the plane crash? because fenton was driving it..."THE DEER HAD TO DIE"

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What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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216-409-7176 Call me.

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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In soviet russia, roses are violet

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A chicken walks into a McDonald's and the cashier asked the chicken what he would like to order. A man waiting for his meal walked out realizing that the employees of this restaurant were not who he wanted making his food.

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

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Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

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a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get hit by a car

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A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops