What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

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If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

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why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

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You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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roses are red violets are blue you think shes hot? how BLIND are you?

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Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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A black guy walks into a bar. He falls unconscious and an ambulance is quickly called to bring him to the hospital.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

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Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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whats a long boring sotry that no oneever wantsto read? the life of sarah palin.

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Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

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What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

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Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

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Dad: i hate you. dads son:(kills him self)

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what's black and has a huge sac? A negro

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How are bananas and friends alike? If you peel their skin and eat them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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