One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

2 guys get into a fight over a girl.....the girl walks out

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

What do you call a black guy robbing a store ? A theif

Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

What is worse than adolf hitler? Justin beiber

Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

Hi

<!-- alert('I lost the game'); -->

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

3 men walk into a bank. They rob the bank and kil 13 hostages.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...