What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are simple-minded creatures and perhaps there was some source of food on the other side.

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Jackass! I was one of the central leaders of the fucking "old" underworld network, while you just scraped together whoever was left when the shit hit the ceiling and called it all yours! And stop trying to flatter yourself, your methods are an insult to everyone that knows what methods you are using, and probably every fucking else, charm is one thing, acting like a total queerfag is another. Lets see what the money you claim I will be receiving will do for me, as your goddamn "experts" "followers" are the ones that sliced my fucking eyeball almost in half, and if you had no idea, eyes are pretty much like fucking raw egg inside, so its not much to do about it. Listen, I know your fucking "order", its not Scientology, and its not FUCKING NERONISM! IF YOU ARE GOING TO CALL IT FOR WHAT IT IS YOU DO THAT! MY NAME IS NERO, ITS NOT AN ALIAS, ITS NOT A NICKNAME NOR SOME FUCKING "CYBER IDENTITY" So you better make sure that money arrives soon enough, or I will reveal the name of your "order", the locations and whatever members I know to the public, and you know I do not fucking mean those worthless queers you sent or did not send to harass me. And you know I do not mean here on fucking horsehead network, Ill start a fucking torrent on the piratebay, and share every fucking secret left, and you can bet there will be nowhere for your "high and mighty" ass to hide. Listen, My name is Nero, your name is "Axel Knight" (Or so you claim, if I where you, I would be hiding in shame too!) SO HOW THE HELL DOES IT MAKE ANY SENSE THAT YOUR "ORDER" IS SUPPOSEDLY CALLED THE ORDER OF NERO?

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An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who was stung on the head by a wasp When asked if it hurt he replied, 'not a bit, and he could do it again if he'd like to.'

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Do u take sugar?

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Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

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Why did the black kid with one leg read the Iliad? Because it was part of his homework assignment?

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Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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Before Super Mario existed what did people play? Instruments.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops