Yo mama so fat that.....NooNoooNooooooo (strips)

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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What's worse than getting tripped? Getting shot.

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it could not afford sandals.

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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Mitt Romney

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how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

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Has u seen my grammar?

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please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

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your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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