Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.

Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

What worse than the holocaust? Dries Roelvink!

Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

why was the boy sad? because his penis was stapled to a coffee table

what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

roses are red violets are blue porn hub is down your mums facebook will do

What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To commit suicide thus getting to the other side(hell/heaven)

What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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