Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

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Q: Whats blue and fluffy A: Blue fluff Q: Whats brown and fluffy . A: The bear that killed my parents.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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oh hai

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

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You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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