Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worst than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worst than a pile of dead babies? One live baby under the pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did bob say tothe ugly duckling? your ugly and a duckling

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Not Yet

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

hickory dickory dock no one cares

thumb_up thumb_down +5

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih tzu? A new breed of dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops