Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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what do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut.

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What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

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you

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A white man, a black man, an Asian man, a Mexican man, a subasian man, an Austrailian man, and a Canadian white man. That's it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue At least that's what I've been told But honestly I've never seen those flowers so I wouldn't know.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

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you wanna hear a funny joke? so do I

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Chuck norris

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Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We don't know if he even did, how would we know why? There were no cameras at the intersection he crossed at. Therefor the question is unanswerable. Unless the chicken admits to it........ ........ Chickens can't talk.

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Whatever his parents named him

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Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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