What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The Christian Bible.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The banana, the raspberry and the pear arrived to the party, then the carrot and the tomato arrived as well, but when the apple and the orange arrived the banana left... ...This where just getting to fruity...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An asian man and his friend walk into a bar. They both order a few drinks and drink them responsibly. They then pay for their drinks, and drive home to their loving families.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did chuck Norris take his friends to the buffet? Because buffets are great social conventions due to the allowance of sharing social favors while grabbing a succulent meal. Visit golden corral today.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops