Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

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Paul walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: no

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ahmadinejad. Well then get the **** away from my door!

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What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

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An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

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What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

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Knock Knock ? Whose's there ? The person you should be opening the door for The person you should be opening the door for who? Oh my god Frank open the goddamn door

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

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knock knock who is there? Jehovah's Witness... IT IS the desire of Jehovah's Witnesses that you become better acquainted with them. You may have met them as neighbors and fellow employees or in other daily affairs of life. You may have seen them on the street, offering their magazines to passersby. Or you may have spoken briefly with them at your door. Actually, Jehovah's Witnesses are interested in you and your welfare. They want to be your friends and to tell you more about themselves, their beliefs, their organization, and how they feel about people and the world in which all of us live. To accomplish this, they have prepared this brochure for you. In most ways Jehovah's Witnesses are like everyone else. They have normal problems—economic, physical, emotional. They make mistakes at times, for they are not perfect, inspired, or infallible. But they try to learn from their experiences and diligently study the Bible to make needed corrections. They have made a dedication to God to do his will, and they apply themselves to fulfill this dedication. In all their activities they seek guidance from God's Word and his holy spirit.

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Random Guy: "Oh god, why was I born with so much common sense?" God: "You must be mistaken, or else you wouldn't be asking me."

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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What do you call a blonde who likes to read? A bookworm.

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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