Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

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Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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How do you drown a fish? You can't , it is physically Impossible to drown a fish. because they have gills, so they are able to breathe underwater.

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If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

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Did you hear about the guys who wanted to go to Hawaii??? They didn't go!

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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A man hits a woman while driving. Whose fault is it? The mas. He was out drinking that night and shouldn't have gotten in his car in the first place.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

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What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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