A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

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I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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Why, you might ask, did in fact the chicken cross this all too infamous road? His grandma-ma phoned the righteous bird and requested a visit. Chickens never displease their family.

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? WE'VE SAID THIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES YOU SHIT

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do want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

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what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

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OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Where did the boy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

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Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops