I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

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If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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Q: Whats blue and fluffy A: Blue fluff Q: Whats brown and fluffy . A: The bear that killed my parents.

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Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The list goes on.

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Brothers and sisters,I have none. But my sister's daughter is also my daughter...

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What did the German say to the Jew? Sorry.

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a cup." -Paul Alangadan

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Did you hear about the little girl who got a bike for her birthday? Shes dying of Terminal Cancer

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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Roses are Verbotten Violets are Verbotten Anti-jokes is Verbotten Everything is Verbotten boats aren't Verbotten

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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How old is Batman? Old enough to be a bat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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