What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Moo! I'm a goat!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are orange Violets are grey I love penguins Damn Jews

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

7

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yeah, I never intended to keep that a secret. What is autocast?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops