Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

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whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

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A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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