What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

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What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

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Why do we bother living when someday we will die? To reproduce and watch TV.

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why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

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Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

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<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

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What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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What did the four pigs do at the farm? Roll in mud.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

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What did the black man say to the young white woman during sex? you are a wonderful woman

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How do pigs get hurt? They are run over by a tractor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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