How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

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why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

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Q: What happened when three lions escaped from the zoo? A: Animal patrol came and tranquilized all three.. Unfortunantly one of the lions died from to much tranq.

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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What can fly? Lots of things

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Ask me If I'am a tree are u a tree? no.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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