Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

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What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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What can fly? Lots of things

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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feminism

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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Ask me If I'am a tree are u a tree? no.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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