hickory dickory dock no one cares

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

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Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

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Whats worst than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worst than a pile of dead babies? One live baby under the pile of dead babies.

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I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

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Knock Knock Not Yet

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Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

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what did bob say tothe ugly duckling? your ugly and a duckling

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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If you're reading this, you can read.

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why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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Why was the black man sent to prison? He was wrongfully accused of a crime which is a fine example of how flawed today's justice system is.

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What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

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Justin Bieber got laid

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What do you call a black guy robbing a store ? A theif

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A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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