A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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You’re so dumb that many individuals find your intelligence inferior.

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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c======3

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

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Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

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An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

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I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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i died. new product by steve jobs

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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hi

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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