What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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The black man leaves the strip club.

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

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What did the man do after he rented a movie? He watched it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

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What time is it? 20:45.

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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