I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse then precedes to beat the bartender voraciously for making fun of his religion.

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A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

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What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops