My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

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A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

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A horse walks into a bar, realizes that he shouldnt be here so he walks out.

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what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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Canada AYY

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Q: what do you call a black priest A: Coley s**t

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a jew!

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What's The Difference Between A Refridgerator And The Holocaust ? Not Much.

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knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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Why are bowling balls racist? They are not because bowling balls are incapable of having feeling therfore they cannot have racial thoughts or actions.

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People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

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knock knock hold on im takin a poop!

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Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

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EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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