Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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I like colin but not as much as apple

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Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

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Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

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why cant stephen hawking dance He does not enjoy dancing

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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a white man, a black man, a chinese man and a mexican man stand at the edge of a roof. the chinese man stands at the edge and says "this is for ma people" and jumps off. then the mexican stands at the edge of the roof and says "this is for my people" and jumps off. finally, the black man stands at the edge of the roof and shouts "this is for my people!" and throws the white man off. The End XD

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

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Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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What's the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue

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What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

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what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

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WEED!

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

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Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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