I like colin but not as much as apple

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Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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WEED!

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why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

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Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

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A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

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Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

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What's the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

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Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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