How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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What did the little boy with no arms get for cristmas? A football.

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This is my first joke don't ????mine. You did didn't you.

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What starts with P and ends with orn? Porn

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Are you Jamaican? Because your dreadlocked hair is an iconic symbol of one who would be from the country of Jamaica.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

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book 'em danno

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These two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've noticed it was there.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

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What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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What do you call a black man with a PhD.? A Doctor! What are you, racist?

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What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

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xavier stop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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