why is my phone broken i dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats worse than a worm in your apple? the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust? two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

thumb_up thumb_down +13

its snowing on mount fuji

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Come on, I am trying to cheer you up a bit, honestly how high?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

rosie o'donald goes on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Guess what i just did. Master bait.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops