A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops