Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +83

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Men's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

thumb_up thumb_down +7

i like cats

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops