A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Apple.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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