Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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