2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops