Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A baby seal walked into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what sucks? things that suck

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down

Jews...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

thumb_up thumb_down -134

Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops